$17 to Keep Two Kids Happy on a Rainy Day - Priceless

With some reluctance I packed my two kids into the Ford Freestyle and headed to an indoor play place this morning. My playgroup had decided to meet there today instead of the local park for our first get together. As you all know, motherhood does change you and you find yourself making incredible acts of self-sacrifice. However, one change I hadn't thought about was having to give up my antisocial behavior so that my kids would have a chance to make new friends. I'm perfectly happy to be a hermit in my house with some cats and piles of good books to read. However, once I had kids some part of my brain I never knew existed started urging me to get out and hang out with other moms so that my poor kids wouldn't be doomed to a friendless life. One problem: a lot of moms in my area are uber-wealthy. Sure, they may show up at the playground in jeans or sweats but they are expensive jeans and sweats with nary a hole in sight. They have manicures and pedicures and suspiciously smooth-looking legs. How do they get their hair that perfect in the morning? They seem to have the money and time to exercise unwanted pregnancy pounds away and they're constantly talking about this house renovation, addition or furniture purchase or some fantastic vacation they're planning. Um, I definitely don't blend.

The local Mom's club got started up again a couple of weeks ago with the end of summer. I had joined a couple years ago before I knew that they were a bunch of former cheerleaders with endless energy and enthusiasm for planning and activities. Although I didn't attend meetings very frequently I kept paying my dues because I really do enjoy taking the kids on an occasional field trip in the hopes that they can make some friends. Anyway, I tried joining a playgroup in the beginning before I found out what type of folks were in this club and quickly bowed out of the group once I discovered I really didn't fit in. When the e-mail went out in August talking about forming new playgroups I sent an e-mail out suggesting they form a kids with food allergies playgroup. Like I assumed, there wasn't any interest and, thus, no special playgroup. However, the unexpected did happen and I was placed in a playgroup. I wrote to all the women and explained my son's allergies requesting that all get-togethers be peanut-free. They were willing to go along with this so I figured I'd give it a shot. To my surprise, I actually liked the women I met today. They weren't pretentious or fake and I enjoyed the conversations we had. They also have cats and dogs so they've got to be good people, right? The kids had a blast playing on the climbing equipment, crawling in the ball pit (ewwww!!!) and riding on a mini-merry-go-round. So, I'm left wondering, did some normal women join the mom's club or did I change? Should I be unsettled if I'm the one who changed? I think I'm still the whack-a-do I always used to be. After all, how many other moms peeled out of the parking lot blasting Nirvana instead of Raffi? I'm still me (dammit)!

Yummy muffins!

I found this great recipe called simple muffins today.

I use vegweb.com all the time for recipes even though I'm not vegetarian anymore because they have great ideas for desserts free of my son's allergens (dairy, egg, soy and peanuts). Not only was this a very easy recipe to make it really tastes yummy. I'm not supposed to have wheat since I have an intolerance for it but I couldn't resist sampling just one! Anyway, here's the recipe as I made it:
1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 cups organic brown sugar (I used raw sugar)
1 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
3/4 cup water
1/4 canola oil
1/2 cup applesauce

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 Fahrenheit
Now combine flour, sugar, salt and baking powder together in a mixing bowl.
Combine water, oil and applesauce and add to dry ingredients.
Place baking cups in a muffin pan (or use silicone muffin cups like I did on a cookie sheet) and bake for 25 to 30 minutes.
I had a yield of 12 muffins (picture only shows nine because we ate three before I took the shot!) but it really depends on how much you pour into each muffin cup.
These were extremely sweet and now my son is super hyper so I think next time I'll only use a cup of sugar.

My therapist is nuts

No really... after tonight's session I really have to wonder if this therapist I'm seeing is nuts. First, a quick background: I've been feeling out of sorts the past few months, crying at the drop of a hat, been discouraged, suffering from insomnia and wondering if I'll ever get healthy again. Finally, I decided enough was enough and started to check out therapists in the area. By checking out, I mean I e-mailed them and asked if they'd worked with patients that had CFS. One woman really stood out for me since she works with clients that have chronic illnesses and she used to be a nurse. I figured she'd understand what I was going through and be able to provide some useful tools. Tonight was our second session. I was telling her how rough last week had been for me with my husband gone and how I was so tired. I also talked about how hard it is to reconcile my current life with what I'd planned. She asked me what I thought was pretty obvious: "Do you think you might be feeling depressed?" DUH! I thought I'd mentioned that. I kept my calm though and stated that yes, I did think I was depressed and probably had been since my diagnosis over six years ago. So, she told me perhaps I should consider seeing a psychiatrist since they deal with mood and all. Um, why exactly am I seeing you?

Well, not being one to let an appointment go to waste I did inquire if she'd had a chance to get that list of neurologists for me. She had suggested at our first appointment that I see one since I've been suffering short-term memory loss, difficulty concentrating, headaches and issues with balance. I thought it couldn't hurt so I asked her for any recommendations. At this appointment she mumbled about some doctor's name and then picked up her cell phone to call her friend for a recommendation. Wasn't she supposed to do this before my appointment? Anyway, I have a recommendation in hand that I will call so this wasn't a complete loss.

I walked out of there feeling frustrated and negative. I don't know what her plan is for helping me out here and I don't know if she really gets me. I have to keep telling her my main illness is the chronic fatigue syndrome and not fibromyalgia. I made another appointment with her for a couple of weeks from now but I plan on getting an appointment with someone else in the meantime. If that person proves to be more helpful I'm no longer going to see this woman. I just don't see her as being very useful to me. I'm not sure what exactly I need but it's not what she's offering.

My day of "relaxation"

My husband returned home last night from his week-long conference in Phoenix. I was so happy (and relieved) that he was back and was really looking forward to taking it easy today. Well, true, I didn't get in the car and drive anywhere today but I did the following at home:
Got Allison dressed and fed her breakfast; did a couple loads of laundry; unloaded and loaded the dishwasher several times; fixed lunch for both kids; cleaned up cooking messes from my husband and me; booked hotel reservations for next week's trip; fed the cats and gave them fresh water; cleaned up the mess the dog left when she tried to eat another diaper; took Allison for a walk; prepared rice and veggies for supper (husband did cook the fish); gave Allison her bath and got her ready for bed. Oh, and I wasn't able to take any naps today.

I'm not feeling very relaxed.:-(

On top of this my son's eczema started seriously flaring up this afternoon/evening for the first time in over a week. I'm not sure if it's because my husband's home (could he be reacting to soap or shampoo my husband uses?), he touched something he shouldn't have at the grocery store, there was a lot of irritating pollen in the air or he's reacting to the fish we had at supper. That last option is least likely since he's had this fish in the past without any problems. Regardless, I'm not happy. My son is scratching and it's only a matter of time before he scratches himself enough that he bleeds. Then we have to worry about an infection developing on his skin. I'm so tired of fighting these battles and not knowing what causes them. I'm tired of having to use heavy-duty medications knowing that they're not solving the problem. I'm also tired of my poor little boy being miserable. He doesn't deserve this.

I'm a soccer mom!

Yep, today was the first day of soccer for my son (and me as a soccer mom). Well, check off one more thing on my list of things I never thought I'd be. I guess there are worse things to add to my life experiences and it did have its privileges. Such as sitting on the grass on a lovely fall morning and not stressing about anything. In addition, one of the coaches is totally hot (check him out in the picture). Oh, and he has a gorgeous Latin accent. Swoon. Six more weeks of looking at Mr. Cutie! Perhaps my husband has been gone too long. Anyway, I don't think I'll be missing any sessions but I'll have to be sure to keep tongue and drool in check when my hubby is with us.

Oh, and my son had a blast today. He paid attention for about the first twenty minutes and then seemed to drift off onto his own agenda. Big lessons we have to work on this week (my agenda not the coaches') is to teach my son how to play duck duck goose. He didn't understand that he wasn't supposed to get up and run around the circle with the tagger and the goose. Very amusing. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this is yet another case where people will think my son is a tad dim. He's 3 1/2 but he looks much older due to his size.

I did get a kick out of one thing when I was able to tear my eyes away from Mr. Hottie. I noticed that a lot of the kids had cleats and shin guards on. Note that this class is for kids in the three-six year range. I don't think they're going to teach them any rough and tumble moves that would require this kind of equipment. You did note how they were playing duck, duck goose? Also, given how fast kids grow at this age, who wants to put that kind of money into equipment? Maybe if we discover that our son is totally in love with playing soccer and that this isn't just a passing whim of his we might invest in some used equipment. But I'm guessing these folks didn't have anything but the newest and greatest on their kids. I really am the poor kid on the block in my town.

Also, I'd like to take this time to note that I'm only going to post photos of my kids here if their faces aren't showing. I've grown too paranoid about nasty folks on the Internet to risk having my kids exploited. I know my friends and loyal followers will understand. Trust me, I love to show off my cuties but I don't want to take the risk.

Fun down on the farm and a peanut scare

Last night I resorted to a bribe with my son. I told him if he slept through the night I would take him and his sister to the local farm and nature center. Well, he surprised me and actually slept through the night so I had no choice, despite my fatigue, to take them to the farm. For $14 we got to look at some cows, pigs, small horses, ducks, chickens (and their chicks!), rabbits, deer and an emu. They also had some exhibits in buildings which held my son's interest for all of five minutes before he was insisting on using the outdoor play equipment. He didn't want to play on the cool wooden boat, the train or the tractor. Nope, he wanted to dig in the sandbox and ride around in a cozy coupe car - the same thing we have at home! Oh well, it was a nice day, the sun was shining, birds were singing so I figured I'd just sit back and relax on a park bench when... my super-sensitive hearing picked up an evil question being uttered in the play area behind us: "Anyone want their peanut butter crackers?" ACK!!!

Yes, I know that sounds like an innocent enough question and for most people the sun would have continued to shine, the birds would've kept singing, blah, blah, blah. However, as a mother with a child that has food allergies including peanuts, I went on red alert. I tried to calm myself by noting that they were playing on a different section of the playground and nowhere near us. However, to my horror, tottering around the corner and making a beeline right for my son was a tipsy toddler clutching her peanut butter cracker in her pudgy little fist. She was smiling at my son and ready to move in for the hug that little girls seem inclined to bestow upon my handsome little guy. The mother must have thought I was a nutcase because I quickly swept up my own toddler and suggested in a loud voice to my son that we move to the inside play equipment. Luckily, he was amenable and we managed to avoid getting crushed peanut butter cracker smeared on him.

Now don't think that I'm one of those people who think that peanuts should be wiped off the face of the planet (although that would make my life easier). However, I do wish that people would limit snacks to the areas designated for eating food (i.e., picnic tables). I also wish people would wipe or wash their kids hands after eating. So,when they do go on the play equipment, there wouldn't be the risk of peanut or other allergen proteins getting on the swings or toys. Despite my vigilance, I noticed when we got home that my son did have some hives forming on his face. Luckily, they went away. I can only assume that the stuff he was playing with inside got some kind of allergen on it and he came in contact with it.

Despite the scare I think we all had fun and I'm really glad we were able to go. I just think next time I'll bring the Epipen along with us.

Getting Started

My first day as a blogger... yay! I should probably write something profound and catchy so that I can develop a group of followers who will hang on my every word, eagerly awaiting my next post. However, as usual, I'm too sleepy to think of anything like that. And, let's be honest, what percentage of blogs out there meet that criteria? I'm guessing not that many.

So, this is day five of my week from hell. My husband left us on Sunday afternoon for some work-related conference in Phoenix. Until he gets back on Saturday night, I'm here with my two kids (one is 3 1/2 and the other is 17 months old), four cats, a dog, two tanks of freshwater fish and not a shred of sanity left. I haven't really slept at all this week. My amazing, vibrating dog had a seizure early Monday morning and the rest of the nights I've had to cater to my son's night time needs - sitting potty, drinks of water and soothing night terrors. I battle insomnia as it is. Getting up in the middle of the night means I fall asleep again a couple of hours later after whatever crisis has been dealt with. It didn't help that last night my son was screaming at me that my breath was stinky. Gee, I should've thought to pop a breath mint during my sprint down the hall. Silly me.

Anyway, due to this lack of sleep I've been on the verge of tears at any given moment and my patience is nonexistent. The kids wonder where the nice mommy went to and when she'll be coming back. Coffee is my only friend. The cats are contributing to the madness by not using the litterbox and the dog is dog is redecorating the kitchen with goodies she finds in the garbage can. Yet, I love these animals and won't give them up even though my son and I are allergic to them. I must be crazy.

So, my big question for today is where did the strong, independent woman of my twenties go to? When did I become so needy and dependent on my husband? It seemed like once upon a time I could handle just about any crisis. I was going to take on the world. I was the one friends and family turned to for support. Now I'm the one who needs the help and feel like I can't function without my husband here to help out. I know that a large part of this is due to my having chronic fatigue syndrome, leaving me with an extremely low supply of energy but it's still hard to accept that. This is not where I expected to find myself at 36.