Funny How Things Work Out!

The other day I was bumming. I went to see a new therapist, this time a psychologist. I explained to her my frustration with my son and how he wasn't listening to me. She suggested that he was bored and maybe if he spent some more time with boys his age he'd be a little more manageable. Problem is, I rarely have the energy to get him places where he can interact with boys his age. I've already joined a playgroup which will hopefully provide some of that for him and we're doing soccer but I really can't invest much more of my time and energy. Anyway, yesterday, he was out shopping with his Daddy and I was out for a walk with my daughter. When we came around the corner and started heading back to the house I heard laughter and saw some scampering in leaves going on. My neighbor had been outside with his 3-year-old son and, for the first time, the boys were both outside at the same time and took the opportunity to play with each other. My neighbor's son is about seven months younger but that didn't seem to matter. The two of them hit it right off. When my neighbor encouraged his son to go home so they could fix a snack for his older sister I actually suggested that his son stay a little longer and I'd watch them so they could keep playing. I was enjoying the interaction between them so much. They played about 15 minutes longer before we had to call an end to it. Unfortunately, my son was still a cheeky monkey that evening but at least we all had some fun. Anyway, I just find it really funny that we saw a need here and then, all of a sudden, a solution provided itself. My neighbor informed me that his son wasn't in preschool either and that he'd been looking for some kids his age to play with too. I like my neighbor so this may actually work out for us! Yay!

In other news, I made it to my neurologist appointment yesterday morning. After a very long wait in the waiting room I taken into her office for a discussion of my symptoms, when they showed up and we did a quick evaluation of my reactions to different things. Well, she didn't laugh me out of her office and she wants to do a bunch of tests including an MRI of my brain and lower spine and an EEG to monitor my brain waves. So, it remains to be seen if there's something going on here.

I am really eager to see the endocrinologist this week to see if my depression is due to low thyroid levels. It would be terrific if it was. A quick adjustment of my thyroid medication would set everything right and things could go back to normal.

Now, here's the weird thing about this depression I've been having - yes, I'm crying a lot and feeling pretty rotten but I'm also really eager to meet new people, try new things and I've had a libido like I haven't seen since my twenties. I laugh a lot when I'm not crying, honestly! So, it just seems like a weird kind of depression.

Well I'm off to a local festival (or two) this afternoon. I expect we'll get a lot of free stuff for my son from the fire department and perhaps I'll buy something fun for myself or the house.

My therapist is nuts

No really... after tonight's session I really have to wonder if this therapist I'm seeing is nuts. First, a quick background: I've been feeling out of sorts the past few months, crying at the drop of a hat, been discouraged, suffering from insomnia and wondering if I'll ever get healthy again. Finally, I decided enough was enough and started to check out therapists in the area. By checking out, I mean I e-mailed them and asked if they'd worked with patients that had CFS. One woman really stood out for me since she works with clients that have chronic illnesses and she used to be a nurse. I figured she'd understand what I was going through and be able to provide some useful tools. Tonight was our second session. I was telling her how rough last week had been for me with my husband gone and how I was so tired. I also talked about how hard it is to reconcile my current life with what I'd planned. She asked me what I thought was pretty obvious: "Do you think you might be feeling depressed?" DUH! I thought I'd mentioned that. I kept my calm though and stated that yes, I did think I was depressed and probably had been since my diagnosis over six years ago. So, she told me perhaps I should consider seeing a psychiatrist since they deal with mood and all. Um, why exactly am I seeing you?

Well, not being one to let an appointment go to waste I did inquire if she'd had a chance to get that list of neurologists for me. She had suggested at our first appointment that I see one since I've been suffering short-term memory loss, difficulty concentrating, headaches and issues with balance. I thought it couldn't hurt so I asked her for any recommendations. At this appointment she mumbled about some doctor's name and then picked up her cell phone to call her friend for a recommendation. Wasn't she supposed to do this before my appointment? Anyway, I have a recommendation in hand that I will call so this wasn't a complete loss.

I walked out of there feeling frustrated and negative. I don't know what her plan is for helping me out here and I don't know if she really gets me. I have to keep telling her my main illness is the chronic fatigue syndrome and not fibromyalgia. I made another appointment with her for a couple of weeks from now but I plan on getting an appointment with someone else in the meantime. If that person proves to be more helpful I'm no longer going to see this woman. I just don't see her as being very useful to me. I'm not sure what exactly I need but it's not what she's offering.