Oh, the humiliation

Listen, I know I'm a screw up all on my own and that I'll never win the most organized, most-got-it-together or whatever award but I didn't expect my kids to completely tumble me off of my meager, barely socially-acceptable, pedestal. Wrong again. I was "working" in my office this afternoon, er, that means I was playing online games, and the doorbell rang. My son joyfully announced that people were here. And, oh boy, they're kids! So, I left my office and walked out into the living room. To my chagrin, not only did my son have his pants removed (at least his training pants were still on), but he and my daughter were clambering on a side table and pulling photographs off the wall. Of course, the shades were up and the table was right next to the window so it would be impossible for any visitor not to notice this.

With great trepidation, and after calmly instructing the kids to get off the table and to put pants on (all said in an admirably restrained manner), I opened the door. Wouldn't you know it, it's the woman from down the street with her three kids. And this woman does have it all together. Her hair and makeup are always perfect, her teeth are perfect and she's very tall and willowy. Obviously, she has beautiful clothing on (I'm guessing size 4 or smaller) and her children are sweet-mannered little cherubs. Just the person I want at my door at this moment (or any moment)! At this point, my son is standing next to me, still sans pants and my daughter has decided to pull the hood of her sweatshirt up over her head and has removed her socks so she looks like a homeless street urchin. Great.

So, after some small talk where I'm trying to cover my mortification, I find out her daughter is selling candy as a fundraiser for her cheer leading squad (I will refrain from commenting about cheerleaders). Of course, the candy had peanuts or was cross-contaminated with them. So, I informed her I wouldn't be buying the candy but I could donate some money. I gave her $2 and couldn't wait to close the door. Of course, they want me to come over to their house on Halloween so they can see how cute my kids are dressed for Halloween. Oh sure, that should be great. That last sentence was dripping with sarcasm in case you didn't notice. I bet her kids aren't disassembling her house and I'm sure they'll have their pants on. Who knew that would be something I'm still trying to attain? Should I just give up and remove my own pants at this point? Is it possible for us to move yet? Ack!!!