Cleaning... ugh!

Sunday morning I decided it was high time I tackle our master bedroom. I couldn't remember the last time I cleaned it and my allergies have been horrible. I'm just terrible about cleaning. Maybe it's because I have two young children, could be the CFS, or maybe I just don't like to do it. Regardless, I always feel awful health-wise when I'm done and then I have to deal with the rest of the hurdles my day is throwing at me. However, on Sunday, Doug had been home for a three-day weekend and he was watching the kids so I felt relatively well-prepared to tackle the task and felt assured that he could help take care of them if this cleaning threw me for a loop. That didn't mean the cleaning wasn't accompanied by a lot of grumbling on my part but it got done. I am embarrassed by how much dust I removed and wish that I hadn't let it get to this point. However, it was done after an hour. Ugh.

Coincidentally, a woman in my CFS/Fibromyalgia support group that I run on cafemom.com posted about how awful she feels about how she's let her house go. I made a response that came down to sympathetic murmurings about feeling the same way. However, the woman who posted after me was a genius - just clean for 15 minutes a day and then rest. My wheels started turning and I thought ah ha, I can do that. Instead of not cleaning at all and waiting until it would take me an hour to get a room presentable, if I just did 15 minutes a day my house might start looking a lot better and maybe every one's health in the house would improve. So, I'm going to make this a goal of mine - 15 minutes of cleaning per day. Today, I spent just 15 minutes on the downstairs bath (the powder room) and what an improvement. It's really amazing how much can be done in 15 minutes. I did stop exactly at 15 minutes and then treated myself to a bowl full of fresh cherries and bite of dark chocolate (70% cocoa thank you). As a result, I don't feel that wiped out and I really do feel like I accomplished something.

Another valuable tip I gained from a member of this same group is to keep an accomplishment journal. She posted that at the end of the day she writes down everything that she accomplished that day. Upon looking back at what she wrote she finds that she feels much better about herself. I think this is a great idea. I know that I really need to forgive myself for my limitations and to celebrate what it is I can do. I think that focusing on the negative all the time only hurts my health more. I really would like to focus more on the positive - think about what I can do and what I can accomplish. Maybe I'll be able to find some value in myself as a person again.

Craptastic

The past few days have just been shitty. It started on Wednesday night when I smacked the side of my head on a wall shelf hard enough to knock me on the ground. Then, yesterday, I cut my palm pretty deeply with a steak knife trying to pry frozen pancakes apart. I know that wasn't the smartest thing to do in the world but I was distracted by two kids yelling two different demands at me and I hadn't had any coffee yet. I ended up going to the doctor's office yesterday to get a tetanus shot, bandaged up and antibiotics. Despite her bandaging my wound keeps reopening and bleeding. Joy. Then, today things were going all right. I did some cleaning and a whole bunch of laundry and managed to keep a positive attitude despite the pain radiating off of my palm. Yay me. I finally got some coffee into a cup this afternoon and I hear that sound I hate - the dog's body thumping on the floor. Yup, she's having a seizure. My son is oblivious to it (thank God) because he's so involved with Go Diego Go. This was a bad seizure for Molly. It lasted over a couple of minutes and then she just laid there not responding or moving. She blinked and panted but that was about it. She stayed like that for several minutes. I called my husband and he said just get her onto some hardwood so she's off the carpet. I'd already taken care of that. The next step was to get her outside in case she has to pee/poop. Got her outside in the rain and she's miserable. She's winding herself around my legs and whimpering. I had a lot of pity for her but I was afraid she'd knock me on my ass so I backed away but made sure she could still hear my voice. I'm not sure if she lost her sight like she usually does. She decides she wants to go back inside and I'm more than happy to accomodate her. I get inside, look at my hand, which is throbbing, and notice to my horror that my bandage is now dirty and damp from all this. I'm not supposed to get it wet until tomorrow and I'm relatively sure that dirt and grime are a no no as well. On top of all this my son is freaking because Diego was over and he was ready for a new one. This day better improve or I'm going to snap. I did briefly consider adding Bailey's or Kahlua to my coffee but figured that wouldn't really help anything. Would it?

Oh, I forgot to mention my phone call with my Mom this a.m. That's always good fodder for a post. We're driving up to Pennsylvania on Sunday to celebrate my Nana's 95th birthday with my mom, aunt, uncle and cousins and Nana, of course. My Mom sounded kind of funny on the phone like something was bothering her but I chose to ignore it with everything else filling up my mind. Finally, I hear her say "I know my saying this might bother you..." Oh goody, this should be fun. "But I'd appreciate it if you could refer to your aunt as Aunt Rose Ann rather than just Rose Ann." Um, ok. In my defense I only started calling her Rose Ann because she teased me several times for still calling her and her husband my Aunt Rose Ann and Uncle Jim. Whatever. Finally, my Mom got to what was really bothering her. Apparently, she thinks that because I dropped the "aunt" title when talking to my aunt, my cousin Jennifer has started calling my mom Joyce instead of Aunt Joyce. This really bothers my Mom. Anyway, I was so irritated by her approach to all this I didn't bother mentioning my knife trick to her. I figure that would just send her into a tizzy. We can hold off on tizzies until Sunday. Lord knows, there will be enough of them given the way my relatives are.

Procrastination... what else is new?

My husband's Aunt and Uncle are dropping in for a visit on Saturday morning. So, I have the ambitious plan to get the whole downstairs spic and span over the next couple of days. I'm going to clean the living room, family room, dining room, kitchen and powder room (half bath). Which one should I address this afternoon? Dust and vacuum the three easier rooms or address some of the scrubbing that needs to be done in the bathroom or kitchen? How about none of the above? I'm so not in the mood to clean and I can't motivate myself to get moving. I know these rooms aren't going to clean themselves and I will be horribly embarrassed if these people show up on Saturday and the house is in its current scuzzy state. My butt remains planted in my office chair. Sigh.

My grandmother (I call her Nana) turns 95 tomorrow. I guess I have a bit of good genes in my blood. We'll be celebrating with her on Sunday. So, yesterday I got my haircut. It's much shorter than I'd wanted but I think it's actually kind of nice. Check out my new profile pic. It's not looking as nice as the stylist had it yesterday but it's not too bad for not using a hairdryer or any styling tools, eh?