Wait, what is that sound? It's the sound of sweet silence. My husband has taken the two kids out to the grocery store and I am home all alone. I love silence and having time to myself and I'm rarely afforded the luxury of either. The silence is crucial for my being able to think, to dream and to just rediscover myself. When I'm with the kids it's all about living from one crisis to the next and just trying to keep from crying from the insanity of the everyday act of mothering. As a mother of two children five and under, I rarely have a moment to stop and reflect on my life and what's important. After the past two weeks when my husband was traveling and I was on my own here with the two kids I seriously felt like I was in trouble. I was exhausted, dizzy and shaking by the time I got both of them in bed and I didn't get the refreshing sleep I needed to wake up the next day and feel better about things.
The first thing I did after the car pulled out of the garage this afternoon was to sit outside despite the chilly wind whipping through the yard. I listened to the birds singing and watched them fly from one branch of a tree to another. I watched the swaying of those tree branches and listened to the wind shake the leaves. I just absorbed all that greenness and life appreciating the pattern of sunlight on those leaves and how amazing the green looked against the bright blue of the sky. The moment was not spoiled by the noise of any cars driving by, people or children yelling. I just had the world of nature to myself and for that I am extremely grateful. I do believe that people need that connection with nature, feeling the earth beneath us and the sun warming our skin. I know I need that to feel alive and whole. I wish I had the time to indulge in it more often.
It has been a lovely mother's day for me. My children both made and bought me wonderful gifts and cards and gave me extra hugs and kisses (those are other essential ingredients in my life's survival kit - couldn't live without my children's hugs and kisses) and my husband fixed me breakfast and took care of the dishes.
I also had a really wonderful time shopping on my own yesterday. I bought a new dress and, drum roll please, it's a size 6. YES!!!
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