In the business of making jewelry

I am so excited these days and busy as heck since deciding to sell the jewelry I make. My goal is to have an Etsy shop set up and ready for business by August 31, 2011. In the meantime, I have a gallery of jewelry designs at http://carolynrosejonesjewelry.weebly.com
I'm also writing a blog on that site that is just about my jewelry and the process of creating an Etsy shop. Please feel free to check it out. In the meantime, here is a taste of what kind of jewelry I've been making lately.
The spirals are handmade by me and the swarovski crystals are attached to the copper chain using wire I wrapped myself. It took me most of the day yesterday to make but I really am pleased with the results so the time was worth it.

In Memory of Hali

Hali died on Wednesday due to heart failure. She was nine years old and I had hoped to have many more years with her. However, it wasn't meant to be. As a way of sharing how special Hali was to me, here is the story I wrote about her for the kids.

One summer day in 2002, Doug was outside talking to a neighbor. Carolyn looked outside to see what Doug was doing and saw a cat in the yard. Her first reaction was fear because the cat looked similar to Sahara. Carolyn rushed outside to tell Doug to help her get Sahara. However, when they both looked at the cat they realized that Carolyn was mistaken. It wasn’t Sahara it was another little brown cat. This little cat was not tame like Sahara so when they approached it, the little cat ran away as fast as it could.

Carolyn returned into the house thinking about that little cat. She realized how sad she would be if that cat truly had been Sahara. Then she started thinking about how unfair it was for that little cat to be stuck outside with no one to care for it. So, she watched for it to come back and after she saw it in the backyard a few more times she decided she and Doug had to do something to help the cat. Doug knew where this was going when Carolyn asked if she could start feeding it. He began preparing himself for adding a fourth cat to the household, even as Carolyn claimed that she just wanted to capture it and get it to a shelter. However, they went ahead and started putting food out for the little cat, which they named “Kitty” until they could get to know it better.

Every day Carolyn would pour some cat food in a bowl and take that and a bowl of water outside to a quiet, shady place in the backyard. She’d put the bowls in a crate with towels and sit on the other side of the yard waiting for Kitty to show up. Every day Kitty would creep into the backyard, stare at Carolyn and cautiously start to eat the food. As long as Carolyn stayed still and didn’t try to get any closer Kitty would eat and drink and then wash her paws clean before running away to wherever she was living.

It was obvious that she didn’t have a home and Carolyn worried about her as the days grew shorter and cooler. Doug and Carolyn were going to be married soon and this cat was no closer to being rescued. Before leaving on their honeymoon they asked their neighbors to continue feeding Kitty while they were gone.

When they returned, Carolyn was ready to take the next step with Kitty. She borrowed a trap from the local animal shelter and put a can of tuna fish in it. It didn’t take long for Kitty to walk into the cage to eat, the trap door swung closed and Carolyn was able to bring her into the house. She had already scheduled a vet appointment for the next day so Kitty only had to spend one uncomfortable night in the cage.

After an examination and medical treatment, the vet told Carolyn that it was good she rescued Kitty as she was very sick and would not have been able to live outside much longer. Carolyn brought the Kitty home and called a local shelter asking them if they could take Kitty. They told her that she would have to tame Kitty and get her to trust humans before they would take her. So, Doug and Carolyn kept Kitty out on the sun porch with food and water while they tried to tame her. During the cool nights, Doug ran a space heater to keep Kitty warm and Carolyn played a radio so Kitty would become used to human voices. After awhile Kitty would let Carolyn get closer to her while she ate but she wasn’t ready to trust her yet. During this time, Kitty got a real name – Halifax – but everyone called her Hali. It got colder and colder and even the space heater wasn’t keeping the porch warm enough so Doug and Carolyn brought Hali inside. Hali was scared of everyone except for Ralphie. They were kept separated at first so Hali could get used to the house first but they meowed to each other under the door. Once they were allowed to play together they became very close friends. Hali trusted Ralphie before she trusted the people in the house.

By now, it was becoming apparent that this cat would never be sent to a shelter. As the months and years went by and she did start to trust and love the people in the house they began to trust and love her too. It became all too clear that they could never give her away and that she had found her home. Hali went from a feral cat to one who would sleep on the bed and snuggle on a lap. She was still easily scared and slow to trust but Carolyn accomplished her goal many times over of getting the little cat to purr and to be happy. And that made everyone in the house happy.

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Here is a picture of Ralphie and Hali together. He is having a really rough time of it and is in mourning since she died.
I'm having a particularly hard time dealing with the loss of her too. I was the only person in the whole world that she trusted enough to pick her up. Back when the cats were allowed in the whole house, and not confined to the one room, I was the only lap she would choose to snuggle in and the only person she would sleep on the bed with. I felt like we had a special connection as she helped me get through my overwhelming depression when I was first diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. She gave me a reason to get up each morning.Each time I heard her purr or saw her rubbing her face against a piece of furniture out of sheer joy it made my heart feel so happy too. Rest in peace Hali.

Feeling better and better and better! No, really!

Two weeks ago I hit what I would call desperate straits. I've had fibromyalgia for eight years now but two weeks ago I reached the point where I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. I could barely manage to brush my hair because it hurt so much. Getting the kids dressed was a horrible form of torture. My posture was bad because I was hunched over from all the pain. I had been considering going back to a chiropractor who had promised me in the past he could fix my pain but I wasn't sure if I was ready. He insisted on strict adherence to the paleo diet (no sugar, grains, dairy, processed or fried foods, legumes, soy or potatoes) and it was too hard for me in the past, although I did give it my best shot last year before sliding back into my old ways by the end of the year.

However, I reached the point where I figured I had nothing to lose and drove over to the chiropractor's office. He performed some adjustments and handed me a sheet that completely changed my way of eating. Only 3 oz. protein first thing in the a.m. (I choose to eat nitrate-free turkey bacon). An hour later I was to eat an orange and a banana. Three hours after my first protein I had to have 3-5 more oz. of protein. An hour after that some fruit. At lunch I could have vegetables with my 3-5 oz. of protein (I choose to have a big leafy green salad with carrots, cucumbers and avocados). No more fruit after 2 p.m. Mid-afternoon, supper and right before bedtime I was to have another meal of 3-5 oz. of protein with some vegetables. I drink 64 oz. or more of fluids a day.Oh, and I can have one cup of organic coffee as long as it's before 10 a.m. Crazy, but being allowed that one cup seems to make this whole things seem much more feasible!

Over the past two weeks, to my surprise, I have seen an almost complete elimination of my fibromyalgia pain. The chiropractor claims that much of my fibromyalgia pain is due to inflammation in the body. That inflammation is brought on by eating the grains, sugar, processed foods, etc. and is healed by following his diet plan. I was skeptical, especially with some of his hocus pocus, but I can't explain how else my pain would be so dramatically affected. It's nice to see that I've lost the five pounds I gained between Thanksgiving and Christmas. In addition, I'm slowly but surely seeing an increase in energy. I'm no longer crashing when I try to do things like take the kids to the zoo for a couple of hours, or doing some shopping. I'm not 100% but the chiropractor is confident that my fatigue won't be affecting me in 2 months. Hearing this is hard to swallow. My fatigue has kept me disabled, unable to work for over nine years. I can't even imagine what it will feel like to wake up feeling refreshed and rested in the morning. However, I finally have some hope that I might.

Unlike my medical doctors he isn't throwing pills and tons of supplements at me. I take two supplements - one with B vitamins and iron and another to repair my digestion - supposedly I wasn't digesting food properly and getting the nutrients I need.That's all and it doesn't cost much compared to all the supplements other doctors had me buying.

Anyway, I'm feeling some optimism for the first time in years. Finally, someone is offering me something constructive I can do to improve my health. I'm not treating just the symptoms, I'm healing my body and hopefully overcoming my illnesses.

This isn't easy. I do miss things like chocolate cake and big bowls of macaroni and cheese. However, I can't imagine anything more valuable than having my health back. Therefore, I am more than willing to make the sacrifice.

I will try to post an update in a couple of months to let you know if I've seen any further improvement.

Happy New Year! My Resolution: 2011 is not Going to Suck

Yes, that's my resolution - 2011 is not going to suck big hairy elephant balls. 2010 wasn't a complete loss but at times it seemed that the darkness would suffocate any sparks of goodness and light I was experiencing in my life. So, here's my summary of the year and I'll end with what I hope to see happening in the next twelve months of my life.

2010 was a year of loss. One of my closest friends in high school lost his battle with lung cancer in the beginning of the year. We had lost touch over the years and I actually felt a great deal of anger towards him in the years between high school and this year. However, due to Facebook, I managed to reconnect with him and, thus, let go of some of that bitterness before it was too late. In addition, I had the closure I needed by going to his memorial service in August. I miss Dave and I can't imagine how his family is going on without him.

Shortly after Dave passed away a college friend of mine died from a brain aneurysm. I was not very close to Will but we had classes together, worked at the college radio station and occasionally had a beer together at one of the downtown bars. One of my clearest (yet most mortifying) memories of him was when he and his band were performing at one of my favorite college bars. He saw me in the audience, convinced his band mates to play a Led Zeppelin (one of my favorite bands at the time) song and yanked me up on the stage to sing. I croaked out a few words before I ran off stage and tried to blend back into the crowd. We definitely lost touch after college but he is definitely part of my history and it was shocking to hear of his death via Facebook.

I lost another dear friend this year - my dog Molly. She was a tough dog to love and care for but she was so full of love and warmth that it helped me to overlook her many shortcomings. She taught me what it meant to be loved by a dog and it was wonderful to have her by my side as we hiked through the woods. One of my fondest memories is of us running down a trail together and leaping over a fallen log, both of us with the biggest grins on our faces.

I have had many moments of despair this year. The pain, exhaustion and sleep deprivation have been crippling at times yet I don't have the luxury to take a break from everyday demands to curl up in bed and try to heal. The children must be cared for, the house has to stay somewhat respectable and the animals need me. However, some days it is so hard to just think of what the next step is going to be in getting through the day and then some stress happens to add to the mess - one of the kids needs to go to the doctor, something breaks in the house, someone (child or animal) has a toilet accident, etc. I'm like an alcoholic just trying to get by one day at a time (or even one hour at a time). I'm so frustrated most days with my limitations and I get angry that doctors haven't figured out how to fix me yet. When do I get to start living life again?

On a more positive note, I took control of my health in a way that I could. I lost 25 pounds and went from a size 12 to a size 6 thanks to changes in my diet and increased exercise. I have been sliding on the healthy eating and exercise for the past few months and I'm feeling it in terms of poorer health but I'm still wearing my size 6 clothes and that is something to be proud of. It has increased my self-esteem somewhat and I know that it's good for my health in the long run.

In terms of personal development I didn't do as much writing as I would've liked but I did find an outlet for my creativity this year. It doesn't take up too much of my time and it doesn't involve a lot of cleanup. In addition, sometimes I can do it when the kids are awake. I love to make beaded jewelry. I haven't done much - a bracelet and necklace for my daughter, a bracelet for Joshua's friend, a necklace for mom and an earrings and necklace set for me - but it's a start. I love figuring out what colors to use and then creating a pattern of sorts. The final product always makes me smile.

I also read a lot of good books this past year. I can't remember most of them and, in fact, I could probably easily pick them back up and read them all over again and they'd be like a new book to me. However, the time spent reading was a wonderful outlet for me and I'm grateful that I have this love of books and that it can help me escape now and then.

One of the brightest spots in my life this year was adopting a labrador retriever from the local animal shelter. Daisy is an amazing dog. She's also a pain in the ass at times but she has almost converted me from being a cat person to a dog person. Not quite but I definitely love her to pieces.

I'd like to think I helped people through my online support group for moms with chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia. I'm not sure how much it has helped me this year but it's good to know that I'm doing something for others.

Now here's what I'm hoping for in the coming year. Obviously, I'd like an answer to what's wrong with me and I'd like for it to be something that can be fixed. I'm still holding out hope that the upcoming sleep study will provide some valuable information. I was supposed to do the study on December 26 but it got canceled due to the weather. So, I'm rescheduled for January 10 and 11 and I'm still going in there with optimism.

I'd like to find a way to manage my anger more effectively. I'm tired of yelling and losing my temper with the kids and Doug. The kids have learned how to push my buttons way too well.

I would like to discover more about myself this year. What do I want to be now that my limitations seem permanent? How can I still make this life I've been given meaningful and valuable? I need to find a way to have pride in who I am. My soul will not be happy until I can recognize my own worth.

Oh, and I'd like for us to win the lottery so we can stop fretting about money so much.

Happy New Year friends. I hope 2011 doesn't suck for you either.

Happy Hanukkah!

I realize that I haven't posted in months. I guess there just hasn't been much to write about. I've started doing some beading to give me a creative outlet and because I've always loved jewelry. Here is a bracelet I made for a friend's daughter. She loves the colors orange and blue and basketball. Voila!
On another crafty note I was inspired by mommy mae's blog to create a decoration for Hanukkah. This is what I ended up creating.Each night the kids will "light" a new candle by placing a felt flame on the appropriate candle. Kinda cool, eh?

Well, I have a cold, a low-grade fever and I only slept three hours last night. I still have to get supper on the table, light the menorah and give presents to the kids and husband so I will keep this short for now. I'll write more in the future.